im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
