matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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