I have demons in me.
Do vagina's smell?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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