One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize