I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
