You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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