got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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