my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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