the new term for farting is butt boxing.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
