I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
