Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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