Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
