I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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