I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
