I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
