No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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