We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
