Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
