i need an iv and a liver transplant
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it's like iHOP with fire
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
