I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
