guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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