party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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