What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
