i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
