He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize