I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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