At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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