we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
