My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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