i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
