I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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