I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
