did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
