Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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