I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
