It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
