i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
