but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
