I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
