why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
