Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
