It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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