I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
