So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
