Will you blow on my dice?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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