all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
