I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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