There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
