are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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