need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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