I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
