The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
