PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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