I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
