If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
