C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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