Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
