If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize