before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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