I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
